We're introducing a new segment today called, "Are you Fucking Serious, John Piper?!"

Baptist minister and author extraordinare, John Piper, posted on his blog regarding a freak tornado in downtown Minneapolis that struck the steeple of a Lutheran church that was having a convention that day discussing the inclusion of openly gay clergy.

Piper, apparently a part-time meteorologist, deduced this tornado to be from none-other than Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, to warn those "wayward" souls at the Lutheran church that he does not want "homos" taking leadership roles in his Church. 

Piper breaks down his logic into six points that take us on an adventure to nowhere.  His points will be in quotes, with my rebuttals in italics.  Here we go:

"Let me venture an interpretation of this Providence with some biblical warrant.

1. The unrepentant practice of homosexual behavior (like other sins) will exclude a person from the kingdom of God.

The unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)" (italics Piper's)

First off, what does this have to do with a tornado?  Second, Piper's misquoting Paul's First Letter to the Corinthian churches.  The word that Piper's bible translation is using for the term "homosexuality" is the Greek word arsenokotai.  The problem with this translation is that it, number one, is Ancient Greek slang; no biblical scholar can honestly attest to what it actually means.  Two, the word "homosexuality" was not ever found in the bible until 1946 with the publication of the Revised New Testament.  Finally, this word was actually translated as "masturbation" until the fourteenth century.

"2. The church has always embraced those who forsake sexual sin but who still struggle with homosexual desires, rejoicing with them that all our fallen, sinful, disordered lives (all of us, no exceptions) are forgiven if we turn to Christ in faith.

Such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Cor. 6:11)"

You believe that you embrace homosexuals?  Really?  Is that why you wrote an blog claiming that Jesus created a tornado to teach those "gay-loving Lutherans" a lesson?

"3. Therefore, official church pronouncements that condone the very sins that keep people out of the kingdom of God, are evil. They dishonor God, contradict Scripture, and implicitly promote damnation where salvation is freely offered."

I agree wholly.  Which is why I think you are in grave error in your interpretations of homosexuality and God's wrath.

"4. Jesus Christ controls the wind, including all tornados.

Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him? (Mark 4:41)"

So we can blame Jesus for the tsunami that devestated Thailand, hurricane Katrina, global warming, and the lack of rain in parts of impoverished Africa?  Wait a minute, are you just picking and choosing verses, John?  What about the verses that claim that God is not the author of evil (Job 34:10, Deuteronomy 32:4, 2 Chronicles 19:7, James 1:13, etc.)" and "God causes rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous. (Matthew 5:45)"?

"5. When asked about a seemingly random calamity near Jerusalem where 18 people were killed, Jesus answered in general terms—an answer that would cover calamities in Minneapolis, Taiwan, or Baghdad. God’s message is repent, because none of us will otherwise escape God’s judgment.

Jesus: “Those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” (Luke 13:4-5)"

Talk about taking verses out of context.  But Piper has done that from the beginning of his post with 1 Corinthians; why should this be any different?  Jesus, in these verses, was using the deaths of those who were killed in the Siloam tower collapse as an example that death is inevitable and happens all the time - sometimes when you least expect it - and you might miss out on living a life to the fullest in the kingdom of God if you hesitate.

"6. Conclusion: The tornado in Minneapolis was a gentle but firm warning to the [Lutheran church] and all of us: Turn from the approval of sin. Turn from the promotion of behaviors that lead to destruction. Reaffirm the great Lutheran heritage of allegiance to the truth and authority of Scripture. Turn back from distorting the grace of God into sensuality. Rejoice in the pardon of the cross of Christ and its power to transform left and right wing sinners."

Conclusion:  Piper still lives theologically in the stone age where people believed that if their crops didn't grow, they must have angered the gods.  As Piper invites us to turn towards his archaic biblical interpretations of things, I would invite him to turn towards these:

1.  Turn from using the bible, God, and Jesus to promote and support your own bigotry and ignorance.
2.  Turn from encouraging extremists like Fred Phelps and those that would assault others because of their sexuality, by misquoting and misinterpreting passages of scripture.
3.  Turn back from distorting the grace of God into meaning "grace for only me and people who think like me."